I am interested in transformation in this life. I really want to evolve and grow as a human. I don’t just want to hold tight to my ideals and beliefs and have to prove I am right again and again yet do you realize that is what most people do? I am guilty. Our egos are so caught up in having to be right about everything that it truly forgets the bigger picture- where to find peace.
Look at how many ways I had to be right yesterday- disagreeing with my friend’s choice in a romantic partner, judging my friend for being angry about a run in she had with another dog owner, cutting my friend off because she talks too much, or dreading talking to a friend who is suffering and really down. In all of these scenarios, my ego or better called- the “little me” separated herself from the other person by judging him/her. The little me thought that she knew better in each circumstance. The little me couldn’t just listen without an opinion building up inside her.
The ego is a complex system of beliefs, thoughts and opinions so there is no quick way to disengage it. It’s been around for millions of years perhaps. It chooses having to be right over union and cohesion every time. I am not saying that we have to agree with our friends, peers or even random strangers every time. Instead, what I’d like to do more often is pause and reflect and not need to offer an opinion. Let them have their ideas without my input. Let them do what they do from their beliefs without my passive aggressive glance. Let them cry, yell, wail and express their strongly held beliefs and I just let it all be right here.
This is a spiritual practice. This is the beginning of dismantling the little me that believes she knows whats best. Because when you really think about it- who knows anything? Life is an unfolding mystery and just when we think we know what to do or say- the universe throws us a curve ball that can leave us speechless. There is no magic how to book on how to react or look at life and its myriad of pains, choices, and rejoices. There is just each moment- where we can either join someone in their unique moment or stand on our soapbox and profess to know how that moment should be lived….. I am slowly choosing to climb down from my box.