I go weekly, at least twice a week- to my boy’s memorial site- his favorite secret trail by the marina. I made a very special place- a meditation site of sorts- all from the earth. A huge rock patio, driftwood benches and trees and flowering bushes planted around. His picture hangs off the peach tree there. It is the “little tree that could”- it is thriving in a harsh environment- no doubt because of the presence of my boy there…and the love I bring and the love others bring by sitting and joining in this sacred space. It has been very healing for me to build this place. The physical work is like my meditation and it brings me closer to him than anything has since he passed 10 months ago. I still miss him daily , I still cry when I look at his pictures..but I am able to cry and feel joy at the same time now. This is the grief process.
I worked this weekend there – digging and planting flowering bushes . It was hard but rewarding work! All the digging gave me some cuts and bruises- one remarkable one showed up smack dab in the middle of my right palm- in the perfect shape of a HEART. I know without a doubt this is sign from Benjamin- saying ” Mom, I am always with you”.
I wanted to share this picture with all of you because I am deeply touched that Benjamin choose to reveal his presence to me in such a unique way.I still miss him daily , I still cry when I look at his pictures…But the ache and misery is lifting- Life has a way of forcing you to move through the darkest hours…and my boy does not want me to stay in the darkness too long. He represented Light- the brightest light I have ever met..The Light of God and that Light shines in me now forever.