Sunday night- Benjamin was up all night vomiting and shaking. He could not get comfortable- pacing, digging, panting. Needless to say, I was up all night with him too. By 9am, I decided to take him to the hospital. He was there all day- getting blood work , xrays, and fluids. All the tests came back normal. So we have no idea why this happened. I am not sure I like that outcome.
Poor guy was so exhausted- he has been sleeping since 7pm last night and its now 10am. I just want his body to rest and recuperate. He felt soooo bad.
How did I handle this? I kept myself from going into a deep panic, but I was a crying girl at the vet’s. I just don’t know how not to take on his pain. I actually think I take it on 100 times more than what he is experiencing because I put fear on top of the pain. I create stories that shouldn’t exist like ” He is scared” “He is not going to get better.” “He is helpless.” I am reading a great Zen book that talks about a simple technique that can begin to put space between the scary thoughts and yourself. It tells you to label your thoughts as they are happening. So instead of saying “Benjamin is scared.” I would say “Having a thought that Benjamin is scared.” What this clearly does is show the possibility that the thought may not be true. Just because I am thinking it does not make it true.
Someone said “the mind is a scary neighborhood to live in.” I am going to start to planting new thoughts and raking old ones away in my neighborhood. I want to make mine more inhabitable so that I can drive through it without so much worry that I will be hijacked by a scary thought.