In the days, weeks and months to follow, I want to give life again to the Benjamin story, from beginning to end. I am just beginning to understand the magnitude of this Precious Creature’s gift to my life and to the world around me. This much I can say with all assurance- he was a Master, an Old Soul brought here to transform me and in doing this- he inspired massive healing to many many dogs in great need.
But for now, I am riding the tsunami of grief. I did not know that the well could be so deep that I have trouble getting up and out. Moment by moment, I fall apart. I lose all my footing. I struggle to see a future. But then his deep gruff voice tells me to get up and look around- that my pack of girls need me so! That my friends are here for me fully, that my pack of walking and training dogs need me. So I stand up and pray that tomorrow will be less dark.
The unimaginable pain of grief has left me completely surrendered. Open arms begging for mercy. I know Benjamin is worried about me. I know he always wanted to protect me as I protected him. He is hoping that I will go on, perhaps even prodding me as I open my front door. Windy and Rainy and stormy these days are- and my heart aches for his touch, smell, voice,.
Bear with me, I will not be editing these days to come. Nothing to hold back. Nothing to censor. and in the days much farther along, when I can pause and reflect on The totality of who he was- I hope you travel with me on the journey of The Benjamin Story.
To all my friends who have stood so near me this past week- I love you. 