I haven’t been posting simply because I haven’t been inspired. I have been dealing with Benjamin’s injury and my search for an apartment to get me back to Berkeley. With these stresses, I just have had a block. My mind gets fixated on the tasks at hand, and I turn inward and away from sharing. I feel like I am opening up a bit now.
Benjamin is making good progress. He isn’t fully weight bearing on his back left leg- but he is definetly walking on it and seems way more comfortable than 4 weeks ago. The first several weeks sucked- he didn’t understand why he couldn’t go with me on the evening walk. He had to lay around all day and all night with only short pee and poop breaks. I have spent tons of m0ney on raw bones for him to chew on. I have spent hours massaging and brushing him. I hired an expert to come over and do massage and acupressure. I even talked to an animal communicator.
I notice that when something happens that is stressful in my life- I immediately need to figure out how to fix it. To make it right again. I go into action mode. This can be a good thing- because sometimes you can repair life’s broken paths…and then sometimes you can’t fully fix it. I realized this morning- that even if my boy’s leg is repaired- that he still be the old man that has arthritis everywhere. I can do everything possible to make him comfortable and happy- but I can’t give him a young boy’s body. and here comes that hard to swallow word- Acceptance…acceptance of What Is. I always come back to this humble place. My heart yearns for the ability to accept what is. I know if I can reach this place- I will know what inner peace truly feels like