I am a professional dog trainer and dog walker. I have a home to maintain. I have bills to pay. and I feel like falling apart today. Benjamin is lame and the vets can’t yet figure out why. I have a dis-eased mind and it goes to the worst case scenarios. I am having a very hard time “keeping a stiff upper lip”. I am having a very hard time being centered. I am having a very hard time being a mom.
I think it is healing to cry. But I can’t seem to stop. I wonder if I will ever be okay. I wonder if this worry and stress will be with me all the time. I wonder when the relief will come.
I can’t seem to find the inner guru who has some life lesson to impart. I can’t seem to stand tall and coax myself out of this state of grief. I know I will handle life moment by moment. I know that I am a very responsible person and won’t totally lose it- I just want God to give me some relief from the worry. This is my prayer for today:
God, I have had enough for one day. I am asking you to bring some relief from worry and stress. Please give Benjamin a better day. Let his limp be lessened, Let his pain subside. Please give me the ability to breathe deeper. Please give me a little more spaciousness inside this crowded mind of fear. Please let Benjamin and I enjoy each other today. Please let me relax into the immense love and connection I have with him. Please let me laugh and smile some today.
Thank you God for listening.