Basically, my life is about work and Benjamin. Benjamin stopped going to work with me 2 months ago. He had had enough. His arthritis is bad in his hips and elbows, and he had slowed down tremendously. We couldn’t really do hills anymore. He was always the dog bringing up the rear. and I finally go it! “Mom, I want to rest more, please”, he told me..
I did not take the adjustment with ease. I cried and cried. My boy is in pain some days, and this aches my heart like nothing else. I realized we were into a new chapter of our lives together. For 8 years, Benjamin came with me to work- on all the pack walks, He was my co-pilot every day in the truck. He was the Alpha, keeping the packs in line. and now, he was stepping down.
The love I have for this dog is so immense, there are not any words that can contain or explain it. I think in the coming blogs, I will certainly reflect on it though, I want to find a language for it- because it is so beautiful.
So now, Benjamin has his own walks- 1/2 hour each a.m and p.m, and 20 minutes at night. ( the girls come along on all these too.) He is sooo much relaxed. He enjoys his walks, and then he is ready to come home and sleep.
So what did he teach me? TO BEND WITH LIFE. To not struggle against it. To listen to life. I was on such a trip – the Benjamin had to be with me at work, I couldn’t acknowledge the change, I did not want to accept it. I was in opposition to life. And when I finally moved with it- listening to Benjamin- and stopped taking him with me- it was like the whole world sighed and released. He sighed and released and said “Thank you mom, for hearing me.”