Human relationships are fraught with disappointment. From the time we are tiny babies to adulthood- people fail us. No one I know had Buddha parents. Some of us had great dysfunction. What does this do to us? Make us feel very unsafe in the world. Our ground is not solid. Our foundation is weak. Either we become fighters, fleerers, or shut downers. We experience the innate Trust that was in us when we were in the womb. The trust that felt like Home, Goodness, Light.
I came into this world with imperfection ( yes, they did their best, I know). The instability instilled fear and worry in my little girl heart. I grew up, but the little girl stayed the same. She ran my world sometimes and it was run on worry, loss and disappointment. I looked like a grown adult, making adult decisions like buying my first home…but often, inside- the little girl crumbled when someone spoke to her meanly. Or sometimes she would throw a tantrum- and spit it right back in the ignorant ass’s face. Therapy helps. Introspection helps. Humility helps. Self Love is Key. Self forgiveness is massive. and then came Benjamin, and he shifted everything.
He opened up my wounded heart. He showed me through infinite devotion that true Love and Acceptance was real and possible. Yes, he was “just a dog”- but Love knows no identity. It did not matter who or what came to show me that this Love was possible, the simple fact that my heart awakened was a miracle. The messenger was a dog named Benjamin. The teaching was Unconditional Love. Call it God if that makes more sense. I touched God, I came to Know God. I came to know and experience my own Divinity through a rescued Rottweiler.
This wounded heart experienced a deep profound healing because I was allowed to be Me. and not only allowed- but celebrated. My boy celebrated Me- with his devotion, joyful connection and constant companionship. It was like through me- he got to experience his own perfect being. Our love healed each other. His wounded soul before he came to me must have been fraught with fear and terror at the hands of a deeply disturbed person. He must have felt great distrust and fear with his world, just like me. Then we met and the Power of Love broke through the fear- and Divine Trust took hold.
Now he is gone, in body…But from his place with God, he now asks me to continue my path of opening to the inherent Goodness that is my Heart.
He asks me to never close again. People will continue to disappoint and throw me off balance..but Benjamin says ” Stand Strong and know that Love is Unchanging and Your Divine Nature is Here and Now, ready to carry you through any storm.”