Benjamin told me on the trip- to start , very slowly, without judgement- to look at life as Walking Meditation.\u00a0 Slowing Down, lots of pausing , noticing the uncertainty, resting in it, if I fall through a crack- just notice the angst. maybe try a little to hold in the outer reaction, but let the inner burn. Then take another step. and another…<\/p>\n
Some outer reactions I cannot contain- when someone threatens my children ( dogs) with intense judgement.\u00a0 They are, after all Pit bull types, and many ignorant people have a lot to say about them.\u00a0 I can never hold my tongue. It is as if they are spitting on my sons and daughters. I return with sharp acerbic retaliation. This has been a pattern for many years and there is a lesson in these confrontations.\u00a0 Benjamin asks me to pause and reflect.<\/p>\n
The outer reaction of anger will only fuel the inner demons.\u00a0 The inner demon is telling you “Believe this thought!!”\u00a0 “Believe that all people are evil and mean”\u00a0 “Believe that the world is a hopeless place of misery”\u00a0 “Don’t trust !”\u00a0\u00a0 “Change will never come”\u00a0\u00a0 “Ignorance rules”.\u00a0 and on and on.\u00a0 When I spit out my venom back- I am perpetuating the myths of my tortured angry mind. I am saying\u00a0 ” I believe you and I am the same misery as you”.\u00a0 But Benjamin asks me to pause here….<\/p>\n
Aren’t we all just wounded souls believing our misery?\u00a0\u00a0 Aren’t we all just creatures of our past programming of grief and judgement?\u00a0 Did any of us come from Buddha parents?\u00a0 Aren’t we all capable AT SOME POINT of change?\u00a0 Change that happens when we question our inner demons.\u00a0 So the old woman who yelled at me yesterday to “put those dogs on leash because they kill people!”\u00a0 ( yes, it happened!!) is just lost inside her dark lonely unquestioned mind.\u00a0 Just like I am- when I judge someone without hearing their story.\u00a0 Benjamin asks me to DIG VERY DEEPLY in my Heart.\u00a0 Stop the outer reaction in its tracks.\u00a0\u00a0 Stop it.\u00a0 Don’t let more venom into this already angry world.\u00a0 Stop and LOOK DIRECTLY Into her eyes- and see the suffering. Find the connection.\u00a0 It is there. if I cannot do more than this- then this is enough for now.\u00a0 Look into her eyes, then move on in Silence.\u00a0 Leave her with the Silence of a more open heart then the one that wants to shred her.<\/p>\n
Then Benjamin says- maybe at the next encounter with the ignorant and pained- you will GO DEEPER.\u00a0 This will take deep practice and conviction to LOVE BEYOND ALL ELSE.\u00a0 Maybe next time- you will stand unwavering in this woman’s presence- and simply say\u00a0 ” I hear you, I acknowledge your pain. I am so sorry”.<\/p>\n
Benjamin says, “baby steps, mom”\u00a0 Just small- Treat Life like Walking Meditation. Pause, Slow way down. Stumble into a crack and just notice the angst that arises, then as lovelingly as you can- pick up your foot and step forward again.<\/p>\n
Love, Your son, Benjamin<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Benjamin told me on the trip- to start , very slowly, without judgement- to look at life as Walking Meditation.\u00a0 Slowing Down, lots of pausing , noticing the uncertainty, resting in it, if I fall through a crack- just notice the angst. maybe try a little to hold in the outer reaction, but let the … <\/p>\n